Jolene (My Mom) - "Beans are like snowflakes, no two are alike"



Steven (My Dad) - "Have you ever heard of a ten pound pencil?"



Zak - "Sometimes in life there just isn't cheese"

"You are no match for me and my attack pants!"

"Hello Brethren and Sistren"

"This guy walks in with 75 pants

"Owls are not wise, they are the idoits of the night"

"If you can't get it at Wal*Mart, you don't need it!"

"Well, he died once..."

"When I was little we didn't have trash bags, so we had to stuff all our garbage down our pants"



C.J. - (A conversation with Santa when he was 3 1/2 years old)

Santa - "So what do you want for Christmas little boy?"

C.J. - "A gun!"

Santa - "Oh no! You're not going to shoot Bambi are you?"

C.J. - (now you have to see this little boy with the MOST serious face ever saying this calm as anything!)

"No ... people..."



Ben - "He's annoying me to crap!"



Pistachio Disguisey - "I can't turn mud into oatmeal....."



Nathan - "Pink Stepheni" (In response to the question, "What color is Stepheni?")



Dorothy (My grandma) - "NO SECS!!" (Lol, just say it out loud!  That was in response to my mom saying "Just a sec")



Julian - "Stick to it like tape"

"You crack me up like an egg"



Johnny - "As you wish, you are a cool dork"



Kat - "From now on I'll call you Hot Dog Jo" (yes this is where I got my name!)



The Brave Little Toaster - "If only we were weiner dogs, then our problems would be solved"



Nikki - "Harry Potter is soo Bob Saget"

"I always want homemade burritos while walking around a garage sale"

"Abraham Lincoln!!!!"

"We're Identical cousins and our similarities are our Blonde hair, braided beards, and undying devotion to lunch meat"



Sarah B. - "I'm gonna go get the best phsyciatrist I can get with a penny!"



Chester Cheetah - "It's dangerously cheesy!"



Meryl -"but how can the aardvark overcome the tomato-headed mushroom pigs?"

"But the monkey is in the fridge"



Thomas M. - "Night Night don't let the nightlight demon bite"



Jessica - "What's the number for 911?"



Meagan - "You guys are all nutters"

"Blimey"



Bender - "Oh my gosh, I am so excited! I wish I could wet my pants"



Liesel - "Bark"



Andrea - "Life sucks then you die"



Some Guy On TV - "If you have been injured or KILLED in workplace accident please call this number!"



Kelsey W. - "I didn't forget to do my homework, I just didn't remember!"

"I didn't choke him, I just squeezed his neck!"



Akins - "Jugular!"

*grunt* "Hmm, I wonder if Stepheni has a Boyfriend?" (He said that in front of the WHOLE class!)



Mayor of Townsville - "Do you think I'm blind! Of course I smell it!!"



Andrew R. - "..........this exercise for your bladder area, to stretch it out...."

"I have a banana on my shirt?"

"I can't stop saying Hedges"



Megan F. - "I'm the flirty thought"



Lord Vader - "I find your lack of faith disturbing"



Lyle - "Pardon me, girls. I know you're feeling pretty hey sailor up here about now. But if you would just let me order a bowl of fried clams we can all have smallpox tomorrow morning."



French Soldier - "I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"



Bedevere - "...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped."



Arthur - "This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere.  Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes."

"Three.  Three.  And we'd better not risk another frontal assault.  That rabbit's dynamite."



Soldier - "Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"



Robin - "What's he do, nibble your bum?"



Jack Sparrow - "and I'll buy you the hat! A really BIG one....Commodore."

"Now... bring me that horizon. [humming]  And really bad eggs. Drink up me 'arties. Yo ho!"



Fezzik - "Anybody want a peanut?"

"People are always thinking I'm so stupid because I'm big and strong and sometimes drool a little when I get excited"



The Ancient Booer - "Your true love lives! And you marry another. True Love saved her in the Fire Swamp, and she treated it like garbage. And that's what she is, the Queen of Refuse. So bow down to her if you want, bow to her. Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence. Boo! Boo! Rubbish!Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo! Boo!"



Kyle - "The best kind of kiss is a chocolate kiss"



bigfootinva - "Christmas is weird. Its the only time that you sit around a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks"



Unknown - "Duct tape is like the Force -- It has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together"

"You laugh because I'm different ; I laugh because you're all the same"

"A wise man once said " I don't know, go ask a woman!"